Bloom where you're planted
and if you can't
I have spent many years working to grow where I am planted. Life is full of circumstances we can't control and events we couldn't have predicted. Adaptability is essential to life, and in many ways it makes us better people. Better at dealing with a changing world, better at understanding other people's challenges, and better - I hope - at recognising the things that make us afraid of change.
Somewhere between tenacity and adaptability is the holy grail of responsive, not reactive, action. That place where we are able to consider our position and the information we have, and rather than bed in out of obstinacy or because we don't see another option, or bounce straight into a frenetic, emotion-led reaction, we can take time to contemplate the most suitable course.
When I say emotion-led, I don't mean that our emotions should play no part in our decision-making processes. Denying or suppressing our emotions is unhealthy; that much is clear. What I've learned for myself over the years - and I know it will be different for others - is that I need to sit with my feelings and interrogate them before I can include them in a decision-making process. This is an uncomfortable process which I would often prefer to avoid, but experience has taught me that I regret the choices I make when I don't do this, far more often than those I make when I do.
But back to the blooming. People, like flowers, are not in constant bloom. We have our cycles of growth and rest; our seasons of output and quiet recuperation. And as with a plant, the environment we find ourselves in has a deeply significant effect on our ability to follow these cycles and seasons, to fulfil our potential and to be healthy. Unlike plants, we have for the most part the freedom to make choices about, and changes to, the environment we are in.
If you have assessed where you are planted, and you find that it has nothing in it that fortifies, encourages and supports you, then it will be no surprise if you are not blooming. If you recognise that there are weeds, stones, a lack of light, things which actively prevent your growth, you will understand why you are exhausted from struggling against obstacles in your environment.
Some obstacles can be moved, deconstructed, overcome. And some we cannot tackle other than removing ourselves from their influence.
So if you cannot bloom where you are planted, replant yourself. Give yourself a fighting chance. Reach your roots deep into ground that can give you what you need.